I want to play a game.
Everyone knows freelancers are worthless. Bunch of bums can’t even get a real job… they’re barely a step up from a hobo.
So, if you’re sitting in your ivory tower and boredom creeps in, what better way to pass the time than a little game?
First, the bait. Make a job posting, looking for freelancers. It doesn’t matter if it’s well written, or even has information about your company. Freelancers are always looking for a handout.
When replies start rolling in, offer them a job, but request to see printed samples of their work and a printed portfolio. It’s 2013, they’ll have put all their eggs in the web portfolio basket. They’ll labor away for at least a couple days refining and reprinting their portfolio, thinking they can impress you. They’re wrong… because you’re going to outsmart them by canceling 1hour (or less) before you’re supposed to meet. They’ll never see it coming!
If you’re feeling particularly diabolical, ask them basic questions afterwards ‘for future reference’ like “What city were you in?” or “Have you done web work?”. Then they’ll know for sure you never even read their application.
Kick up those feet, light a cigar and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. You have your cushy job and all they have is a pile of misprints and broken dreams. It’s a tough world, they might as well learn that now, before they start thinking about crazy things like paying rent or having money to feed their cat.
